Don’t hold your tears
Don't Hold Your Tears
“
A heart isn’t really an organ, it’s a gift that makes you feel.
-ARINA
The older we are, the lesser we cry.
How many of us really wonder why?
The older we are, the more the anger.
Instilling fear in everyone dear.
They tell me not to cry,
it shows your weakness.
They warn me “no anger”,
it is not ladylike.
So then,
What am I supposed to show?
In order to be better.
What am I supposed to do?
In order to be more humanlike.
Please allow me to cry.
Please allow me to fear.
Please allow me to grow.
Please stay by my side.
Please tell me,
“Don’t hold your tears.”
“It is okay to cry.”
“It is okay to cry.” Or “Don’t cry, you are an adult.” Which one do you hear it more often? Which of the one do you wish to be told? A lot of us wish people would tell us “It is okay to cry” but at the same time when someone else is crying, we tell them “Don’t cry, you are an adult”. Hmmm? We’ve been there and we know exactly the feelings towards these words. How demotivated it is to hold your tears back because we are already at the age of showing no tears. Who made these rules anyway? You might also realize we used humour to mask our sadness. We laugh the sadness away.
A friend of mine attended counselling session when he was in college. He is a happy-go-lucky person, always smiling and full of positivity. You might wonder why he attended counselling if he is such a happy person? He just wanted to know more about counselling back then. After attending a few sessions, he started crying while speaking with his counsellor. He has been supressing his tears for too long. Finally, someone is there to listen to his problems patiently. He cried for so long. The counsellor kept quiet, not because she does not know what to say but silent companionship was what he needed during that moment. The counsellor waited patiently, listened to his whimper and accompanied him. He said he felt better after crying. He felt like the knot in his heart has been untied.
What happened when we cry?
- Improved emotion regulation.
- Understanding our feelings better.
- Increased self-awareness.
- Achieved greater inner peace.
- Release stress.
A patient might start crying quietly when their parents leave the ward; A working adult sighs and cry in the car at the parking lot; A mother’s heart ache while crying in the shower. Tears might roll down from the eyes of a teenager in a room full of loud music; As well as a university student who just failed their paper again.
“
We smile when we are happy. We cry when we are sad. It is perfectly normal.
We all cry in silence as we get older. I wish to tell you that we can feel fearful and sad. We are just human. I wish to tell you that, it is always okay to shed tears. If you ever encounter someone that cry, stay by their side quietly. Maybe that’s all they want during that moment.
We smile when we are happy. We cry when we are sad. It is perfectly normal.
